Letting the light in....

I woke up this morning and thought I was either still dreaming or had died and went to heaven....my bedroom was filled with a glorious presence....sunlight! I had almost forgot how much sunlight can brighten up the darkest of moments. The past few days have been trying, to say the least. I had two job interviews at random marketing firms Downtown. The first interview was alright, but as I went to the second interview, I started feeling suspicious - the form filled out at the beginning of my second interview was an EXACT replica of the form filled out at the beginning of my first interview. That night, I was called back, by both firms, for a second interview. I went to the first "second" interview, and knew right then and there that I would NOT be going to the other "second" interview. I spent all day going door-to-door with one of the "Senior Account Executives" (who, by the way, had only been there for six weeks), selling office supplies, which we never really sold. I also found out that the same parent company of that marketing firm also owned the other marketing firm that I applied to...yeah, not going to do that! When I returned home, after a long nine hour waste of a day, I found notification that the school has officially denied my appeal of their academic dismissal...which means that, contrary to my actual actions, my records now show that I was kicked out of Wheaton College. AND, to top it all off, the past couple of days have been dark, cloudy, cold, and windy. Fun times!

This all being said, Christ has continued to show Himself in every little thing. This past Monday I told my roommates that I am gay...which I was fairly nervous about. However, God was in the entire process and I am constantly thanking Him for the loving care and provision he has shown in the people in my life. I don't deserve it, and yet, I have it anyway. We spoke for three hours, expressing our thoughts on everything - the past, the present, theology, labels, stereotypes, etcetera. The best part about our talk was that we ended it with prayer, submitting everything once more to the Lord. How amazing it is to have roommates such as these! I've also almost completed reading through the New Testament (four Gospels to go!)! It has been a daily blessing to get in the Word and soak it up! ALSO, I've been working out every day, which has also been wonderful. Growing up in a home where nutrition and the outside appearance were hailed as the ultimate, and required, goal to achieve...I do have a bad association with body image and exercising. However, now that I'm at a place where I am moving forward mentally, emotionally, and most importantly spiritually, I feel right now focusing on what I see as the least important of those four areas. I'm eating healthier and in smaller portions, I'm drinking a ton of water, I'm getting seven to eight hours of sleep each night, and I'm exercising daily....this is the start of something amazing, I can tell! Now I just need the patience to see it through...

I also am in a new relationship, and by relationship, I mean friendship! I do feel that meeting what's his name has been such a God thing, and it feels amazing to have a friend who I can tell absolutely anything to...and not feel nervous or awkward about it! I'm just praying for wisdom and discernment in every aspect of our relationship, and that above everything else, that Christ would be the center of it, regardless of the direction it takes!

Lord, give me the wisdom to serve you in every action...to seek our Your Will for my life...and to not worry about the things I need, for I know that you are MORE than able to provide for me. Thank you for the amazing people you have put into my life and I especially thank you for putting up with me! You are truly amazing and wonderful! Thank you!